A few years ago, I became intrigued with the concept of strength. The types of strength (physical, psychological, mental, moral, and so on) and how they relate to each other as well as how they build upon each other. I'm not just talking about the relationship between physical activity and emotional well being, though that's part of it.
I don't remember not being physically strong. Even as a kid, I could lift more and throw farther than my peers. And for a while, I could even win against most of the boys at arm wrestling (oh, how they hated that!). From a mental standpoint, I could study and concentrate on and absorb a topic for hours, if I needed to. My emotional strength...eh, not so much. It took a lot of work, a lot of life's lessons, and some professional help to get me to a good point with that...or so I thought.
Life has a way of smacking us in the head with what we need to learn, until we really learn it. Not until we sort of learn it, or think we have, but until we have truly absorbed it into our bones. So a few years ago, life decided that I hadn't quite learned what I needed to about emotional strength, and it threw some curve balls at me.
First, I found myself dealing with a muscle tear (previously documented in this blog). Many of the workout activities I had previously enjoyed, and counted on doing, weren't possible for several months. I had to adapt. Not supposed to stand? Construct workouts using the machines so I can sit. Still limping, making intervals on the treadmill not an option? Switch to exercise bike. And work on building emotional strength, because having something taken away that you had always counted on can be a particularly tough blow.
In pretty short order after that, I dealt with major upheaval in my personal life. So there it was again -- the opportunity to show that I had actually learned something about emotional strength, and then learn how to do it better. For me, building emotional strength has a lot to do with trust in myself. Trust that whatever happens won't break me, that I can adapt and change and come out better and wiser and yes -- stronger -- on the other side.
In the past, I have worried about what would happen when things went wrong. I stayed awake at night pondering the "what ifs" and developing contingency plans that 98% of the time didn't need to be used. What a waste of energy and sleep! Lately, I've been working on what a friend calls "sitting with the uncertainty." That means allowing events to unfold without worrying about what I can't control, confident that whatever arises will be within my ability to handle. I won't lie...that's a tough one for me. Sitting? Peacefully? Not taking action? Not running around making plans? Surely, you jest. But I'm starting to get it.
It's also a lot about my internal dialog. I remind myself that I am strong on an almost daily basis. If it has been a tough day, I'm referring more to the physical aspect, but it still helps me to feel better. I remind myself that I have been through difficult times, and they didn't stop me. I spend time helping other people, listening to other people, and enjoying their company.
Physical strength is easy to measure and easy (for some) to build. Emotional / psychological strength can be developed, too, but doing so is a lot more complicated. I have learned that it involves changing both how I think -- particularly my self dialog -- and how I act.
If you want to delve more into this topic, here's a great resource:
